I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
