i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
