batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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