Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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