we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
