I think i peed on brittanys purse
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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