literally had 100 drinks last night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
