He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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