just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize