I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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