his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
