It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
