If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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