I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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