If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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