i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
