If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
