hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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