Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
