I wanna bring you to show and tell
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
