I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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