You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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