I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize