did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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