Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
