I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
