I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
