"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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