I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize