That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize