Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Two words: blizzard sex
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I think i got beer on your cat.
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