fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
