All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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