Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
