4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We're facebook friends in real life
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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