Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
