Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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