So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
