i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I understand Curling. That high.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
