singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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