The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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