I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize