i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
