bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
