i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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