i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i now understand why vodka
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
