everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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