the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
