god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
