We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
