I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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