I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
