we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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