this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
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His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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